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What Are Some Good Reasons For Divorce
Divorce Reasons; What Constitutes A Viable Reason For Thinking About Or Wanting A Divorce?
Copyright © 2004, Karl Augustine
Deciding on Divorce
http://www.deciding-on-divorce.com/
According to the Center for Disease Control`s National
Vital Statistics Report of 2002, 50% of first marriages
ended in divorce and 60% of remarriages end in divorce.
But, the Center for Disease Control also found that 96%
of Americans express a personal desire for marriage, and
almost three-quarters of Americans believe marriage is
a life long commitment. I imagine that there are somewhat
similar statistics worldwide.
With these kinds of statistics, its easy to see how complex
it can be when people think they want a divorce, they have
difficulty identifying how a truly viable divorce reason might
be defined. Wanting happiness through marriage and wrestling
with what may seem an inevitable outcome (a divorce),
can be emotionally and mentally challenging.
After all, it is human nature to want to feel nurtured
and secure, no matter where you live!
So, if you`re thinking about getting a divorce, what are
truly viable reasons for actually getting a divorce?
Each government has different laws defining the difference between
`fault` and `no-fault` divorce reasons that have enough merit that
allow for the divorce to be granted.
While it makes sense for you to keep this in mind when
deciding whether or not to get a divorce because there
may be financial considerations to think of, you should
first focus on defining your own emotional or "personal" divorce
reasons, regardless of what the local governing body says.
If you ask 100 people how they define viable reasons for wanting
a divorce, you`ll most likely get 100 different answers because
they`ll answer you from their perspective, not yours. Sure, there
may be similarities to the way you feel in some of those answers
about `real` divorce reasons, you may even agree with some.
But, the real answers to this question can only come from you.
You have to figure out what reason or reasons would be viable in
your mind in order to actually go through your decision about
getting a divorce or staying married.
Some reasons that people give for getting a divorce, or
wanting a divorce, are purely selfish and have no substance.
An example of a reason for wanting a divorce that has no
substance is not liking the fact that your spouse has constant
unfounded jealousy. There is a deeper problem that exists here,
and in the case of this example, it could be that the spouse
who constantly feels jealousy has a confidence problem or some
sort of `fear of loss`.
Whatever the case, the divorce reason in this example clearly
isn`t viable and should relatively easy to fix.
Often times when people give `surface` or flimsy reasons for
wanting a divorce, they really have much deeper feelings about
something and they`re just using the shallow divorce reason as
an avoidance of some kind. Or, they give these `foundation-less`
reasons for wanting a divorce because they actually aren`t
aware that there are other deeper rooted reasons that are the
cause of the way they feel now.
Common reasons that cause people to think about or want to get
a divorce:
*Couple has conflicting personal beliefs
*Couple’s marital satisfaction decreases
*Desertion
*Adultery
*Cruel treatment
*Bigamy
*Imprisonment
*Spousal Indignities
*Institutionalization
*Irretrievable Breakdown of some kind
Of course, you should add your own reasons to the list for
wanting a divorce, better yet, make your own list. Solid divorce
reasons for wanting or going through a divorce usually come from
some sort of occurrence, behavioral pattern, and/or change in
the viewpoint of the marriage itself.
In order to really make a smart decision, you should first list
the reasons that you have for wanting a divorce, then examine
those divorce reasons for true viability. Then come back to it
that list in a day or so. Chances are you will be able to
scratch a few of those reasons for wanting a divorce off the
list because they were identified purely from an emotional
viewpoint rather than logic.
If you are thinking about getting a divorce, and haven`t clearly
identified what reasons you have for feeling the way you do,
you`ll be doing yourself a `dis-service` if you act without
carefully examining the viability each designated divorce reason.
Everyone has their own reasons for wanting a divorce, make sure
that you are certain that your reasons are truthfully viable to
you before you act on them.
Karl Augustine
*A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce*
A resource recommended by marriage counselors to their clients.
Proven *Action Items* to help you decide what`s best for YOU!
http://www.deciding-on-divorce.com
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