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Sex Over 60
10 Things Sex Over 60 Can Teach You About Sex Under 40
Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach
Got your attention? Everyone's favorite subject.
I'll begin by stating again a myth that dies hard: That
people over 50 [substitute your own age] aren't having sex.
Part of this is that we just don't want to think of our
parents as actually doing ir, no matter how old they are,
no matter how old we are.
Guess what? Your parents are doing it. So are your
grandparents. If they're a healthy couple, that is, who
enjoy each other and are still enjoying life.
Sex over 60 is sublime. Sex under 60 is also sublime. In
this article let's look at the things that make sex over 60
sublime, in a humorous way, because some of the things that
startle, amuse, and slightly embarrass you about your Granny
are some of the things that can make sex under 40 sublime.
1. Your Mom arrives at your house and you're having a
discussion over breakfast cereal, and she says, "Monica, I
hope you're letting Harry make love to you with the lights
on. Men like that, you know."
Put the blush away. She's talking, and that's what makes
for good sex. Older folks don't mince words. Get
comfortable with anatomy, natural processes, and needs, and
talk about them openly. Talking about what "embarrasses"
you could be exactly what could save or enrich your
marriage.
And be open-minded. Some men like to make love with the
lights on, some don't. Some women like to make love with
the lights on, some don't. How will you know if you don't
ask? How will you know if you don't try it?
2. Granny comes to see your new baby boy and says, "That
young man's got a mighty fine-looking p****, Elberta."
Those cute little phrases I won't go into are fine for
bonding, but they take something away in the long run. Call
your body parts by their real names. This will both empower
you, and demystify sex, and that's a great combination.
3. You're appalled, yet jealous, at your mother-in-law's
lifestyle.
Since her husband died 5 years ago, she's been living in a
resort retirement community. She plays tennis and golf with
her boyfriend, spends lazy afternoons by the pool, and they
take long cruises. She looks 10 years younger, has a glow,
and your husband says he's never seen her happier. When
they come to visit you, they're always hugging and holding
hands. You walk around a corner and catch them kissing!
You MUST make time to approach this leisurely lifestyle with
your partner. You must create a space for what comes
naturally to occur, and in the midst of crying babies,
promotions and downsizings, leaky faucets, dirty dishes,
creeping kudzu, and dog-poop scooping, remember your dating
days when you spent hours just gazing into each other's eyes
and touching.
4. Your Granpa comes over and says to you, "Son, you
leave that pretty little filly alone like this and she's
gonna jump the fence and go lookin'. When's the last time
you [wink wink nudge nudge]."
The words may make you squirm. The message may too, because
it's not about denial. What's going on has been labeled,
the consequences outlined, and the solution presented. It
works. Try it. Your own style, words, and timing, of
course, with knowledge of your wife, not his or anyone
else's.
5. Your Mom says, "Jen, when I walk in here I can cut the
tension in the air. There's something you and Nick aren't
dealing with."
If you deal with what comes up when it comes up, there won't
be tension in the air. Time and experience teach us to read
other people's emotions, take the temperature in the air,
and become more empathic, which makes for great
relationships. You can jumpstart this process by studying
Emotional Intelligence with a certified EQ coach.
6. Dinner's over and your parents are leaving. Your
father, a man of few words says, "Anne, your mom and I are
coming over next weekend to take care of kids while you and
Anthony get away. No arguments."
Make this time. Money is not the crucial component. Put
the kids down for Saturday naps and have your own getaway.
If there is money, hire a sitter and go to a hotel for a
weekend - somewhere with that resort community atmosphere
that's letting your mother-in-law have so much fun.
7. Aunt Grace is over and she's talking about her health
again.
Staying on top of your physical health is important.
Dysfunction and displeasure can have a physical component.
Start with a physical checkup if your desire or capacity has
faltered.
8. Mimi's sitting on the patio with you. "I just read the
other day," she says .
Read, study, stay abreast of what's new. There's so much on
the Internet that's easy access.
9. "The secret to a good marriage?" your Uncle Ben is
saying, " is ...."
Unless you want a room-mate who does your laundry [mows the
lawn], get your marriage and sexual relationship out of the
realm of "mysterious and mystical."
Try telling someone you can't stand garlic in your mashed
potatoes without using the words "mashed potatoes,"
"garlic," and "can't stand."
If you have trouble getting started on communicating there
are wonderful relationship, marriage and sex coaches,
counselors, and therapists ready to help! It's worth it.
10. Take it up a notch.
When your six-year-old daughter doesn't like the way you
comb her hair, she screams, fidgets, pulls away, cries,
pushes you away, runs to her room and slams the door shut,
says it makes her head hurt, and learns to tell when it's
coming and disappears at these times.
You connect the dots.
Sex. It does a body good. Deal with it like grown ups do!
Talk!
©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc .
Coaching, distance learning, and ebooks around emotional
intelligence for your continued personal and professional
development. I train and certify EQ coaches. Get in this
field, dubbed "white hot" by the press, now, before it's
crowded, and offer your clients something of exceptional
value. Start tomorrow, no residence requirement.
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