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Ten Tips for Building Dynamite Relationships
Pat Swan, Life and Relationship Coach
Relationships hold a high place for most of us, especially
women. We want great relationships with clear
communication, empathy, understanding, mutual trust and
trust and friendship and fantastic sex - we want DYNAMITE
RELATIONSHIPS.
But what do we get much of the time? Relationships loaded
with communication problems, irritability, conflict,
misunderstandings, blame, hurt and anger! If you have a
a relationship like this you know what I mean. Stress grows
and settles in your muscles and organs and you develop
fibromyalgia, migraines, stomach problems, anxiety and
depression.
Loyalty, tradition and fear of failure demand we stay. We
try again and again to fix the problems, ignore the
fighting, and say the same thing for the tenth time with
different words. Do you identify with this situation?
Perhaps you stuff resentment and deny personal needs for the
sake of the relationship. You experience little explosions
on a daily basis and feel constantly on edge. Then it's
Monday morning and we play pretend again for another week.
Walking through these relationship mine fields is hazardous
to your health.
The longer that relationship stress goes on, the longer your
immune system is shut down, and the longer your muscles and
organs are exposed to dangerous stress hormones. You are at
risk. If you have an illness, it will get worse. If you have no
illness yet, you will likely get one.
What can you do? Whatever you do, don't wait! Magical
thinking tells us that it will change on its own. It won't.
You have to change. Your health and well being depend on it.
But the good news is, you can make a difference. It is not
necessarily a lost cause.
Here are the top ten tips for building DYNAMITE
RELATIONSHIPS.
1. Get to know yourself, inside and out. Know what you want
and need. Know what you like. Determine your values and priorities. Write them down. Believe in yourself and don't compromise.
2. Choose healthy relationships from the start. Don't go
out looking for a red dress and settle for beige! Don't be
desperate - be choosey!
3. Move slowly and develop a strong foundation. Don't get
enmeshed in an emotional relationship before you see the hazards
and recognize the danger.
4. Nurture good relationships. Take the first step to schedule
a get together or just chat on the phone.
5. Develop excellent communication and conflict resolution
skills, and use them. This in itself can drastically change
a relationship.
6. Develop assertiveness skills. Passive people ignore
their needs and get walked on. Aggressive people walk on
others to get what they want. Assertive people learn to get
their needs met without walking on anyone.
7. Learn to really listen. Listen with body, mind and
spirit.
8. Be self-aware. When a misunderstanding happens, check it
out. Be sure you have all the information. Determine what
part you played in the situation.
9. Develop intuition and body awareness so you can identify
relationship stress in your body immediately, as it is
happening. Then deal with it appropriately before it gets
deadly.
10. Lose the denial. If something isn't right, deal with
it. Don't play pretend and wake up too late. All
relationships have misunderstandings. It's how we deal with
them that counts.
If you find yourself struggling with your relationships, new
or long term, don't wait! The window of opportunity for
change is narrow. Anger and resentment destroy
relationships, even good ones. Life and Relationship
Coaching can help you reach your goals and develop the
DYNAMITE RELATIONSHIPS you desire.
(c)Pat Swan, M.S., Life and Relationship Coach, Speaker,
Trainer and Author. Check out her ebook, "Watch Out! Your
Relationships Can Be Hazardous To Your Health."
Available at www.StopRelationshipStress.com Call for a FREE
30 minute introductory coaching session today.
262-642-5706, mailto:pat@patswan.com ,
http://www.RelationshipSkillville.com
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