Tips on How You Can Have Fantastic Sex
Top Ten Tips For Phenomenal Sex
Cynthia Perkins
1. Communicate
Communication with your lover is “the” most important factor for
not only a satisfying sexual relationship but for a relationship
in general. If you do not communicate with your partner you
can’t be satisfied. Many people falsely believe that their lover
can read their mind or that they should instinctively know how to
please them. This is a very destructive belief for not only the
sex, but also the relationship as a whole. Speak openly, directly
and honestly. Be specific. Tell your partner where, when and
how to touch you. Describe how much pressure, how much speed and the timing you need. Tell them what, when and how to say what
you need to hear etc. Let them know when it feels good and when
it doesn't. Good communication involves the expression of
feelings. Discuss your feelings, needs, desires, fears,
embarrassments, expectations in and out of the bedroom in regard
to all aspects of the relationship. Good communication will
increase intimacy and greater intimacy will lead to greater sex.
2. Be an Unselfish Lover
Be a selfless lover (meaning your goal is your pure desire to
give your partner the pleasure they desire.) Don't take each
other for granted, which is easy to do if you have been together
for a while and will kill your passion. Don’t pleasure your lover
according to what feels good for you, give them what you know
they enjoy. Always tend to your partners needs as well as your
own and you will be considered a good lover. Spend one lovemaking session devoted entirely to your lover. Make them feel special
and cherished. Express your love and appreciation freely and
frequently outside of the bedroom as well as inside the bedroom.
Don't assume your lover knows how you feel. It needs to be
verbalized. Say I love you or you are so beautiful, or you feel
so good. Everyone wants to feel loved, valued and appreciated.
Remember that what occurs outside the bedroom greatly impacts
what will occur in the bed.
3. Seek Variety
As the saying goes “Variety is the spice of Life”, and boredom
is one of the main causes of unfaithfulness. If you keep a lot of
variety in your positions and activities, you will never be
bored. There are numerous books and videos that can give you new
suggestions or be creative and use your imagination. Try having
sex in different places of the house or in a bathroom at the gas
station, restaurant or some other place that is very exciting for
you where you won’t get caught. Take a shower with your lover and
use your hands as the washrag. Soap them up and explore every
inch, nook and cranny of their body. Savor them as if they were a
fine a wine. This will elicit erotic, sensual, spiritual and
physical energy in both of you and will also serve as a tool to
help you learn invaluable information about one another’s bodies.
Get naked outside and make wild passionate love. I don’t believe
there is anything more freeing, arousing and spiritual than being
naked outside and to make love with the feel of the elements upon
your body. It gets you in touch with the primal basics and
elicits uninhibited passions. Do things that are unique for you
as a couple and you can keep the variety and spice while
remaining a monogamous couple. Change your routine.
4. Be Spontaneous and Adventurous
Surprise your lover with something unusual and kinky. Yes Kinky!
Be outrageous and adventurous. Show up at their work for lunch
naked under your coat and flash them. Send them an invitation to
a hotel for a hot night of sex. Role play one of your fantasies.
Tell them you must have them at some unusual spot and take them
passionately. Women, try not wearing your panties and bra and go
through your daily activities. Not having a bra and panties on
is very stimulating and will make you feel very sexy and erotic.
Tell your partner that you aren't wearing any and you will drive
them absolutely wild with the thought of it.
5. Be Present in the Here and Now.
Fully experience each touch, sensation, smell, movement, sound
and taste while you are making love. Don’t allow your mind to
slip into thoughts about work, children or fixing dinner etc.
Stay completely focused on your partner and your experience.
Allow yourself to become totally immersed in the pleasurable
sensations you are giving and receiving.
6. Know Your Own Body and Desires
If you don't know what excites you and pleases you, then your
lover can't either. Explore your own body and discover what you
like and don’t like. Find out what arouses you and makes you
roar. Make love with yourself. You can really drive your lover
wild by allowing them to watch you pleasure yourself.
7. Make Sex a Priority
Relationships are the most important aspect of our lives and sex
is a crucial component of your intimate relationship. Make time
for lovemaking. Don't push it off. It should be one of the
biggest priorities in your life. When sex is pushed aside desire
and passion will dwindle. The more you engage in sex the more
your desire will grow.
8. Pursue Your Lover with Unbridled Passion
It is a great aphrodisiac for both female and male to see and
feel desire and passion in their lover's eyes and actions. Let
your lover know how deeply you want them. Tear their clothes off
and take them passionately. Let them hear you delight in them.
When making love, tell them how much you enjoy their body or how
good they feel to you. Let loose with total abandon.
9. Know Your Partner’s Hot Zones
Taking the time to learn what makes your lovers motor run is one
of the most important ingredients for great sex. You can never
know your lover too much. Pay attention to when and what your
lover responds to and learn what they need. Store it in your mind
and be sure to use it frequently. When your lover is pleasured
and satisfied then they want to reciprocate and please you even
more, and thus sexual satisfaction is heightened for both
partners. When you know how to please your lover, their desire
for you increases and they will want sex more often. Knowing your
partner and making a point to please them is an act of love; it
shows them they are important to you and that you care about
their needs. You should know your lovers love buttons like the
back of your hand.
10. Be an Oral Connoisseur
Being a skilled oral lover is a very important component of a
couple’s sexual relationship for both the male and the female.
There are few things more pleasurable for either man or woman
than to be savored, devoured and satisfied orally by their lover.
It is one of the most intimate gifts we can give one another.
Pleasuring your lover orally has become an integral part of
lovemaking. One of the great aspects of oral sex is that it can
be a part of foreplay or the main course and there are so many
ways to explore it. Giving oral pleasure to your lover is an
ultimate act of unselfishness, giving, caring and loving.
Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed., is a sex advisor/educator and writer
specializing in sexual intimacy and keeping the fire alive. She
is also author of the hot new sex guide for couples titled,
“Smoldering Embers-Hot Erotic Stories and Sex Tips to Light a
Couple’s Fire. Services, Books and a FREE Monthly EZine can be
found at her website. http://www.smolderingembers.com/
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